Badgers and Lions
by killerteddybear
Summary: Harry is sorted into Hufflepuff in his first year. What will hapen when the Boy-Who-Lived becomes a Badger? AU REALLY LONG HIATUS
1. Chapter 1: Surprises

Chapter 1: Surprises

The Dursley's, August 31st 1991

"_BOY!_"

Harry looked up from his latest study book, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and sighed. His Aunt was once again screaming for his assistance, in that grating voice that set his teeth on edge.

He got up and raced down the stairs, phrases from his new book whirring around his head.

"_The Fwooper is an African bird with extremely vivid plumage… has the head of a giant eagle…_"

He was fascinated by the creatures in the book, creatures that few had even heard of, let alone seen. Harry James Potter was a wizard, and he was going to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry the following day.

"Yes, Aunt Petunia?" He lived with his aunt, uncle and cousin, all of whom were very cruel to him.

"I want you to clean the living room windows until there isn't a spot of dirt on them. And don't even think about having any lunch until you've finished."

"Yes Aunt Petunia."

_I wish I could get friends more easily_

Platform 9/10, September 1st 1991

Harry was perplexed. His ticket said to catch the train to his new school on Platform 9 and ¾, but there was no Platform with that number. In desperation, he walked up to a woman with vivid red hair, to see if she knew.

"Oh, of course dear; all you have to do is walk straight through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10. Don't stop and don't be scared you'll crash into it, that's very important. Best do it at a bit of a run if you're nervous. Go on, go now before Ron."

"Thank you, Mrs…?"

"Weasley, dear. Now run along."

"Thanks!" And he ran straight through the barrier.

He ended up running into a girl with very bushy brown hair, and who was already wearing her Hogwarts robes.

"S-sorry," He stammered.

"Don't worry," said the girl in a high, pompous sort of voice. "I do it all the time. My name's Hermione, Hermione Granger. Do you know, my parents are Muggles, not a trace of magic in the family? My parents said that I must be really talented to be magical in my family. What's your name, by the way?"

Harry was slightly overwhelmed by her stream of words, which she had delivered without breathing.

"I'm H-Harry, Harry P-Potter."

Hermione's eyes went as round as saucers.

"Wow! I'm really sorry about your parents Harry, it must have been awful."

She dwindled into silence.

"Don't worry about it," He grinned. "We'd better get on the train."

He and Hermione had to go almost to the end of the train to find an empty compartment, but eventually they found one three doors from the end on the last carriage. They stowed their luggage into the magically enhanced baggage car and Harry put up a sign with their names on the door.

"Wait a second Harry; I might have a spell to lock the door." She began to rifle through her book bag before emerging with a Spell Encyclopaedia that looked to Harry as if it weighed two tons.

"Let's see… Looking Charm, Unlocking, ah-hah! The Locking Charm. _Obfirmo. _Now, the wand movement,"

But before she could figure it out, the door swung open and a white haired boy walked in, followed by two blobs that could only be his attempt at bodyguards.

"Is it true?" He said. "They're saying all down the train that Harry Potter's in this compartment. So it's you, is it?"

"Yes," said Harry. He didn't like this boy one bit.

"Oh, this is Crabbe and this is Goyle," said the pale boy carelessly. "I'm Malfoy, Draco Malfoy."

Harry giggled.

"Think my name's funny, do you?"

Hermione spoke up. "And do you," she giggled. " prefer your martinis sh-shaken or stirred?"

Harry maintained his composure for long enough to hear Draco's next question.

"You'll soon find out some Wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there."

He held out his hand to shake Harry's, but Harry didn't take it.

"I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, Mr. Bond. Oh, and just so you know, having two toy-boys at once seems a little excessive to me."

Draco's look of confusion was too much for Harry, and he broke down laughing.

"You'll regret this Potter!"

He just laughed harder.

"Well," said Hermione after several minutes of non-stop laughter, and the use of her new-found locking charm. "That makes one enemy for life, and we haven't even got to school yet. On a different note, what house do you want to be in? I think I'd like to be a Gryffindor, they say that the headmaster was one."

"I'm not sure Hermione, but I don't think that Gryffindor would be the best house for you. You obviously like getting good grades and studying hard, and I think that you're more of a Ravenclaw. I don't mind, so long as I'm not in the same house as Mister Bond over there."

He was about to continue, but a voice called out from the corridor: "Anything off the trolley, dears?"

Harry unlocked the door with a simple _Alohamora _and went out into the corridor, fingering his pocketful of sickles thoughtfully.

"Do you sell any muggle sweets?" He asked.

"I do have a few at the back, why?"

"I wanted to do a comparison between the two."

He ended up buying 4 boxes of every-flavour beans, 4 chocolate frogs, 4 packs of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, 4 Cauldron Cakes, 4 Pumpkin Pasties, 4 Liquorice Wands, 4 Sugar Quills, 2 packs of Tooth-Flossing String Mints, 4 Sherbert Fountains, 4 Mars Bars, 4 packs of Haribo, 4 Cadbury's Crème Eggs and 2 packs of sandwiches.

He paid the lady a galleon for his purchases and carried it all back into the carriage, where they spread it over the table.

"Sine we're going to do a comparison, I decided to get a little of everything, and don't worry, I bought some tooth-flossing string mints to keep our mouths nice and healthy. I think that we should start with the sandwiches and the Pumpkin Pasties."

And so they passed their train ride, happily comparing the two lifestyles and writing it down carefully in one of Hermione's many notebooks, before being joined by Neville Longbottom, who had somehow misplaced his toad, which then hopped into their compartment. They changed into their robes about half an hour before the train was due to arrive, and I introduced Neville to muggle sweets. He liked the crème eggs best, and asked Hermione to owl her parents to get more, please? She blushed.

Harry was looking at his new chocolate frog cards, which included Nicholas Flamel, Agrippa (which was apparently a rare card), Merlin, Circe and The Witches from _Macbeth_.

"Firs'-years! Firs'-years over here! All right there, Harry?"

Hagrid's big hairy face beamed over the sea of heads.

Entrance Hall, September 1st, roughly 19:00

"Welcome to Hogwarts," said Professor McGonagall, her cutting Scottish brogue instilling fear already in their hearts. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory and spend free time in your house common room.

The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn you house points, while any rule breaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the House Cup, a great honour. I hope each of you will be a credit to which ever house becomes yours.

The Sorting Ceremony will begin in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting."

She looked pointedly at Draco Malfoy, who had somehow managed to fall into the lake several times on the way to the castle. No one was questioned.

"I shall return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly." And with that sentence still lingering in the air, she turned and swept out of the chamber.

Harry turned to Hermione, who had produced a hairbrush from the depths of her pockets, and was fiercely attacking her hair.

"How do they sort us into houses anyway?" Hermione was now rifling through her pockets to find her notebook of useful charms that they had looked up on the train, including a little one used to flatten hair.

She found it, then pointed her wand at Harry's hair. "_Palpo Saeta!_"

Next she pointed her wand at Harry's glasses. "_Oculus Reparo_"

"There. Now, I'm pretty sure that Hogwarts: A History mentioned a hat. I would guess that you put on the hat and it sorts you for your personality or preference."

"That makes more sense than actually giving us a test, doesn't it. Anyway, I need to learn that hair-flattening charm. It looks useful."

At that, the door opened and Professor McGonagall called for them to come into the Great Hall. Harry ensured that he stayed close to Hermione and Neville, who seemed nice enough from the train.

Suddenly, about twenty different ghosts came streaming through the walls, causing about half of those present to jump 2 feet in the air.

At that point Professor McGonagall swung open the doors to the great hall.

It was beautiful. The ceiling was covered with stars and swirling nebulae, and there were thousands upon thousands of candles floating across the tables above hundreds of empty platters.

A ragged old pointed wizard hat sat crooked on an old three-legged stool. As Harry looked, a tear just above its brim opened and it burst into song:

'_Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,_

_But don't judge on what you see,_

_I'll eat myself if you can find_

_A smarter hat than me._

_You can keep your bowler hats,_

_Your top hats sleek and tall,_

_For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat _

_And I can cap them all._

_There's nothing hidden in your head,_

_The Sorting Hat can't see,_

_So try me on and I will tell you_

_Where you ought to be…_'

The Hat went on to list the different qualities of the houses in more dodgy poetry, until it was time to start the sorting ceremony. Professor McGonagall stood up and unrolled a surprisingly short piece of parchment.

'Abbott, Hannah'

A short girl with stubby blonde pigtails rushed out of the line and jammed the hat on her head. She smiled in relief as she was declared a 'HUFFLEPUFF!'

'Bones, Susan'

Again the hat shouted 'HUFFLEPUFF!' and the girl ran off to sit next to Hannah Abbott.

'Boot, Terry'

'RAVENCLAW!'

'Brocklehurst, Mandy'

A tall girl with long brown plaits walked up and placed the hat nervously on her head.

'RAVENCLAW!'

'Brown, Lavender'

'GRYFFINDOR!' The hat took some time deciding on her house. She seemed to be having an argument inside her head.

'Bulstrode, Millicent'

'SLYTHERIN!'

'Finch-Fletchley, Justin'

A kind looking boy sat on the stool and was almost immediately made a

'HUFFLEPUFF!'

'Finnegan, Seamus'

The sandy haired boy sat for almost a minute before being sorted into

'GRYFFINDOR!'

'Granger, Hermione'

Harry smiled at his new found friend as she was sorted. She was made a 'RAVENCLAW!' after only about a second.

'Longbottom, Neville'

'HUFFLEPUFF!'

'MacDougal, Morag'

'RAVENCLAW!'

'Macmillan, Ernie'

'HUFFLEPUFF!'

'Malfoy, Draco'

He sat for a while under the hat, before shouting "For Merlin's sake, just put me in SLYTHERIN!"

'Fine. SLYTHERIN!'

'Moon, Linda'

'GRYFFINDOR!'

'Nott, Theodore'

'SLYTHERIN!'

'Parkinson, Pansy'

'SLYTHERIN!'

'Patil, Padma'

'RAVENCLAW!'

'Patil, Parvati'

'GRYFFINDOR!'

'Perks, Sally-Anne'

'SLYTHERIN!'

And now, he thought, here come the fireworks.

'Potter, Harry'

He walked forwards among a wash of whispering.

'Potter, did she say?'

'_The_ Harry Potter?'

The last thing Harry saw before the hat dropped over his eyes was the Hall full of people craning to get a good look at him.

_Hmmm… _said a small voice in his ear. _Difficult, very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh, my goodness, yes-and a nice thirst to prove yourself. Fiercely loyal to those that you would choose as friends… Now where shall I put you?_

'Well,' thought Harry to the Hat. 'I wouldn't like to be in Slytherin, with Malfoy, or Gryffindor, with all of those people who might want to make friends with me for my fame.'

_True, very true. That would leave Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. I note that your new friend Hermione has been sorted into Ravenclaw, but the houses are much closer. There is less animosity between them than between Gryffindor and Slytherin. I think it'd better be…_

'HUFFLEPUFF!'

**A/N I now disclaim all text that I have used from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone and Harry Potter itself. **

**This idea came to me this morning after looking at a few Harrys in Ravenclaw and Slytherin but very few longer fics about Harry in Hufflepuff. I will be using a few OCs in minor roles, although I will be using characters whose names are mentioned but nothing else. This is an eventual Harry/OC. To those who do not like this pairing, I would like to say that I initially wanted mostly canon pairings, but a long argument with a certain best friend (who shall remain un-named) changed my mind.**

**Reviews and constructive criticisms are welcomed. Flames are not.**

**Edited:**** 7/11/09 (Brit Calendar) as I've been agonizing over incorrect apostrophes and Americanisms ever since I posted it, but my laptop (my normal writing instrument) died just after I'd finished revising my work, so yeah. I must have done something pretty bad in one of my past lives. Maybe I was Bellatrix Lestrange or something. **


	2. Chapter 2: Settling in with the Badgers

Chapter 2: Settling in with the Badgers

There was a shocked silence through the room. Harry rose from the stool and scurried to the Hufflepuff table, where he was greeted by a wave of warm applause. He sat next to Ernie Macmillan, who on first impressions seemed a little pompous but still perfectly nice.

The sorting continued much as it had before, albeit that McGonagall was looking at him curiously.

Harry could see the High table now, as it had been uncomfortable to raise his head to look at the dais whilst he was waiting to be sorted. At the end nearest to the Gryffindor table sat Hagrid, who gave him thumbs up. Harry grinned. He heard the sorting going on, but didn't register it. In the centre of the table sat Dumbledore. Harry recognised him from one of Hermione's Chocolate Frog cards, as they had both started their own collections on the train. Harry spotted Professor Quirrell from the Leaky Cauldron as well, but looked away as he made his forehead twinge. It was probably the purple in his robes and turban.

There were three sortings left, so Harry decided to pay attention to see which house Mrs Weasley's son would make.

'Turpin, Lisa'

'RAVENCLAW!'

'Weasley, Ronald'

The lanky boy flared red and glared at all of the people giggling at his name.

He had a very long conversation with the hat, during which he turned puce, much like Uncle Vernon did when he was angry at one of his underlings at Grunnings, and clenched his fists.

'SLYTHERIN and you should learn some manners, boy!'

He reluctantly dragged himself to the Slytherin table and sat as far away from Malfoy as he could.

"WHAT! Ronald Bilius Weasley, how DARE you be sorted into Slytherin." Another red head stood up at the Gryffindor table before being wrestled down by two more identical red-heads.

"Perce, stop embarrassing yourself, you know-"

"-that we'll just embarrass you more. There could even be-"

"-Some unfortunate incidents involving yourself and a reverse-hygiene charm tomorrow morning. Capice?"

'Zabini, Blaise'

'SLYTHERIN!'

"That concludes the sorting for this year." The Professor took away the stool and hat.

"Hi," said Harry uncertainly.

"Hello Harry. I must say, I'm quite nicely surprised that you are in Hufflepuff. May I ask why you spent so long under the hat?" Ernie smiled through this, but Harry knew that he was trying to be kind, so he answered.

"I was talking to the hat. It said that I had qualities of all four of the houses, so I whittled it down to two, and the hat chose. I cut out Slytherin and Gryffindor-"

"Why?"

"Because Slytherin had Malfoy, who was really quite rude to myself and my friend Hermione -in Ravenclaw- on the train, and Gryffindor because I had a feeling that they would be less than honest as friends."

"Well, I'm glad you're here. It'll be nice to have some company. Friends?"

"Friends." They shook hands, and turned to watch Dumbledore's speech.

"Welcome!" he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!"

He sat back down. Harry was utterly confused.

"Is he going mad?!"

"Maybe. Can't talk. FOOD!"

And food was indeed there. More varieties of food than Harry could ever have imagined had appeared on the table. He took a few cuts of chicken and a few handfuls of thick-cut chips before turning to Neville.

"Hey. Why the sad face?"

"Because my Gran is going to kill me for being a Hufflepuff. She wanted me to be in Gryffindor like my dad, or even Ravenclaw like my mum, but Hufflepuff will be a problem. Loyalty doesn't cut it compared to courage and brains, at least for my Gran."

"Don't worry Neville. I'm sure that just being yourself should be good enough for her, and if it isn't, then it's her fault, not yours. Besides, the Boy-Who-Lived is in with the Badgers, so why wouldn't she be proud?" Harry grinned, and Neville managed a weak smile back.

Harry turned his attention back to his food and finished the plate just before the remains vanished and were replaced a moment later by acres of puddings. He remembered liking treacle tart the one time that Mrs Figg had made it, so he grabbed a large slice and topped it with a scoop of vanilla ice-cream.

"So," he asked a large fourth-year across the table. "What are the classes like?"

"Well, I suppose that for first year Hufflepuffs the easiest class is Herbology, because of Professor Sprout giving extra tutoring, but the hardest class would definitely be Potions, unless you're a Slytherin. I'm Cedric by the way, Cedric Diggory."

"I'm Harry. I guess that you knew that already."

"I'm afraid that everyone thought that you'd be a Gryffindor, Harry. They might make fun of you, especially since our house is often portrayed as the house for useless people, but that isn't true. Oh, and you should probably eat your treacle tart. The heat is melting the ice cream."

Harry hurriedly ate the ice cream, savouring the vanilla flavour, and then said "Thanks. No brain freeze for once, too. By the way, how do our robes change the crest on our cloaks and the colours of the school scarf?"

"It's a sort of voice activated transfiguration. I asked McGonagall myself, actually. Apparently the Sorting Hat's voice was keyed into the badge and it sort of activates the transfiguration. I tried to replicate it with my shoelaces, but it didn't work."

Harry thought about this, finished his treacle tart (which was excellent) and then rummaged in his robes for a pen and notebook. He scribbled a quick note, added an extra sheet of paper, folded it into a paper aeroplane and sent it to Hermione.

She reached up and caught it out of the air, read it, scribbled her own note under it and threw it back.

"What wath that for, Harry?" Susan had noticed his throw.

Harry unfolded the plane. "I wanted to ask Hermione something, and we have to go straight to the Hufflepuff common room after dinner."

He showed her the note. It read:

'Hermione,

Want to meet in the library at morning break tomorrow? I need to double check some of my Potions revision.

Harry'

He turned the sheet over.

'Harry,

Sure

Hermione

P.S Please call me Mione. I prefer it.'

He folded it back up and took yet another notebook out of his pocket. Susan noted that it said 1991 on the cover. Harry opened it to September the Second, and wrote 'Morning Break: Library with Mione'

Soon afterwards the feast ended and Harry was beckoned, along with the other first years, to follow the 5th year prefects, Olivia Harper and Thomas Prewett.

They were led through the dungeons, past an overly large painting of a bowl of fruit, and down the next corridor to a large statue of a badger.

"Okay, everyone, we have a slightly different way of entering the common room. I'll demonstrate."

Olivia walked towards the statue, which turned, sniffed her hand and then said "What is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

"Nothing, they're the same plant"

The badger nodded and faded away to reveal a sturdy oak door. After Olivia had entered, the door swung shut and disappeared. The badger then reappeared in the same position.

Thomas continued the talk. "In order to enter the common room, you must first be recorded by scent, and if you are on the register, you will be asked a set question for the term. Today you will set the question. You will be asked the same question until the end of the Christmas holidays.

The other houses use only passwords or questions to enter their common room. We ended that practice in 1308, when a loyal supporter of the period's dark lord broke into our common room and murdered three students. For example, inhabitants of Ravenclaw tower must answer a logic problem or answer a tricky question. Complex, but quite easily solved. For those living in the Slytherin Dungeons, or Gryffindor Tower, they are required to provide a reasonably easy-to-guess password. Now, we're going to do this alphabetically. Hannah Abbott, please."

It continued like this for a while, until finally there came "Harry Potter, please"

He walked up to the Badger, which sniffed him and then asked in his head "Name?"

"Harry James Potter,"

"Very good. Question?"

He thought for a moment.

"What is your favourite mathematical formula?"

Harry had been highly advanced in maths at Muggle Primary School, although he hadn't been mad enough to tell the Dursleys about Miss Tonks, his lovely, kindly Year 6 Maths Teacher.

"Answer?"

"The Quadratic Formula"

"Very good. You have been recorded for future entry. You may pass."

And the statue let him through the door.

Harry walked along a short corridor, turned a corner and was amazed at the room. It had a relatively low ceiling, but it was charmed in the same way as the roof in the great hall. The furniture looked soft and comfortable, and a fire crackled merrily in a large fireplace carved with badgers. There were no windows, but the room had several side tables with bright lamps on them.

"Now," said Olivia. "I know that you're probably all very tired, so I'll be as quick as I can. We will give out simple maps of the school tomorrow at breakfast, and Professor Sprout will give you your schedules. The girl's dormitory is on the left, the boy's is on the right. You are allowed to visit your friend's in other houses in their common room and in the library. The house showers are in the separate dorms, two for the boys and two for the girls. There is a small study room at the other end of the common room, behind the painting of Albert Einstein, who taught at Hogwarts as Transfiguration professor just prior to the war with Grindelwald. The password is Relativity. It also houses a library with all of the spell books and theory to get you through school, as well as a small collection of muggle and magical fiction. I will take the girls to their dorm, and Thomas will take the boys. Any questions?"

Harry raised his hand. "Which subjects do we take this year?"

"Well," said Olivia, smiling kindly. "In first year you are required to take Herbology, Potions, Transfiguration, Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, History of Magic (although I recommend that you study that independently) and Astronomy. A list of inter-house clubs with the Ravenclaw students is on the notice board."

No one else had questions, so the prefects led them to their dorms. The first year boy's dorm was the first on the left. Inside were 5 smaller doors.

"Each student gets their own small room, with a chest of drawers, a Four-Poster Bed, a small desk and wall space for posters. There is also a small cupboard. You will stay in the same room throughout your Hogwarts career, and the rooms are locked and warded during the summer, so you may leave anything that you wish inside. There is a bolt to lock the doors, and you must be asleep by midnight or your bed will knock you out for 7 hours, just in time for breakfast. We do not wear a uniform in this school, but you must wear appropriate clothing and footwear around and about. You must always be wearing your school cloak so that we can identify your remains." Thomas grinned. "Just joking. Got that?"

There was general assent.

"Good. Make sure not to sleep in. Pack your book bags with quills, ink, parchment, your books, and I'd recommend a good book for History of Magic. Muggle pens, pencils and notebooks are allowed by all teachers apart from Professor Snape, and don't forget to bring your cauldron to all potions classes. And, most importantly, keep your wand on you at all times. No one is above hexing you in the corridors, so be on your guard. Good Night, Sleep Tight, Don't Let the Bedbugs Bite!"

The boys split up and each chose a room. Harry got the first room on the right. It was a comfortable size, much bigger than the cupboard under the stairs and actually bigger than Dudley's second bedroom as well. He loved it, especially the bed, which had yellow hangings and was made from elaborately carved ebony. He greeted Hedwig with an owl treat and sank into the bed after changing into his new house pyjamas.

Hogwarts, September 2nd 1991 6:30

Harry woke from his good night's sleep, yawned, reached for his towel and his sponge bag and headed for the showers. He made sure to use the hair flattening charm that Hermione had used on his hair before the sorting.

After this, he walked back to his room, picked up his book bag and packed the items the Thomas had recommended, plus a magical student planner that he had owl-ordered over the summer. It automatically opened to the correct day of the year and was set to remind him of homework due in two day's time. He also took his set of muggle highlighters, which Miss Tonks had given him as a leaving present.

He walked down to the Great Hall at ten past seven and sat at the near deserted Hufflepuff table just in time to get a steaming hot bowl of porridge, which he ate while waiting for Hedwig to arrive with the Daily Prophet. He never read the news, apart from the humour columnist, he mostly got it for it's excellent crossword. At half past seven precisely, Hermione came in, dressed in her new robes, and sat next to Harry.

"Mione, are you allowed to sit next to me?"

"Yes, I checked the rules, and nowhere did it say that Ravenclaws couldn't sit with Hufflepuffs. Anyway, thanks for the invite to the library."

"Oh, yeah. Mione, my common room has its own library! It's apparently pretty good, and there are localised quietus charms on the desks and tables, so maybe I could take you there instead."

"That sounds great, Harry. Oooh, I love porridge. I'd better get back to my table, I do want to sit with you but I promised Morag I'd sit with her this morning. Do you mind if I bring her? She would like to see all of the common rooms in school, apparently. Please?"

"Sure. I'll just tell the statue that you're my guests. That should work. By the way, when's your birthday?"

"September the nineteenth! Bye!"

Harry entered her birthday into his planner, and then went up to Professor Sprout.

"Professor, when will we be getting our schedules?"

"Well, I think that it will be at about 8:00."

"Thank you, Professor."

He walked back to his place and continued to eat his porridge.

"Honestly, Pomona, he's a sly little brat, just like his father."

"I sincerely doubt it, Severus. He seems polite enough, and he's friends with Ernie and Neville, as well as Hermione Granger in Ravenclaw. Let the subject drop, Sev."

"Pomona, I believe I have told you several times that I have only ever allowed two people to call me 'Sev'. One is dead, the other I haven't seen in almost twelve years. Neither are you, so if you would stop calling me that." He scowled at her for good measure.

Harry had by now finished his porridge and moved on to some sausages with scrambled eggs and buttered toast, when Ernie walked in.

"Harry! How was your first night? I slept very well, lovely beds. What would you say?"

"They were really comfy. Oh, do you want to come to the house library at break? Hermione Granger and Morag MacDougal from Ravenclaw will be there."

"Of course, Harry."

At this point, conversation in the hall was interrupted by a large owl landing in a serving bowl of cornflakes on the Slytherin table. It was right in front of the Uncle Vernon impersonator named Ron Weasley. The envelope it was carrying was bright red and bore an address written in an angry hand. Weasley looked genuinely scared at the envelope, which he carefully removed from the owl's leg.

Before he even had a chance to open it, it ripped itself open and started to scream.

_RONALD WEASLEY!_

_HOW DARE YOU! 16 GENERATIONS OF BRAVERY, AND YOU SOIL OUR NAME WITH YOUR COWARDICE! YOUR FATHER AND I ARE VERY DISAPPOINTED, AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE GROUNDED ALL SUMMER IF YOUR GRADES DON'T MATCH PERCY'S! NO ONE AT HOME WILL SO MUCH AS SPEAK TO YOU UNLESS YOU PROVE YOURSELF WORTHY AS A WEASLEY._

_BAD DAY TO YOU!_

_Molly Guinevere Weasley_

A slightly hushed voice followed this.

_Ron,_

_Do try to keep out of trouble. Don't worry about your mother; she's just stressed at the moment. She'll be back to normal by Christmas._

_Dad_

"What on earth was that?" asked Harry, as the Slytherin table dissolved into laughter.

"A Howler. I guess his mother wasn't terribly pleased, hmm?" Ernie was now looking at the schedule he had just been handed.

Harry looked at his:

'Monday:

Double Potions with Ravenclaw (Professor Snape)

Break

Charms with Ravenclaws (Professor Flitwick)

Transfiguration with Ravenclaw (Professor McGonagall)

Lunch

Double Herbology with Slytherin (Professor Sprout)

Dinner

Common Room'

He realised that the schedule had only one day.

He turned to Cedric.

"Cedric, do the schedules change to the day that they're on, because mine only shows today."

"That is exactly right Harry." Cedric smiled as best he could while his mouth was still full of jammy toast.

He finished his breakfast and then rushed down to Potions class.

"Hi Hermione" said Harry. "Can I pair up with you? I think we're doing cross-house pairings."

"Sure, Harry. Where should we set up?"

"Probably near the front. My eyesight isn't that good, even with my glasses on."

They set up their cauldrons, put out their parchment and quills, had a quick review of the material and stood up to wait for their Professor.

At exactly 9:00, Professor Snape swept into the classroom, robes billowing, and rapped the blackboard with his wand. He picked up his parchment and began the class register. He was about halfway through when he said

"Ah yes, Mr. Potter - our new…celebrity." No one laughed.

He finished calling their names and told them precisely what to expect in his own poetic way.

"Potter!" Harry looked up from his notes, where he had just finished writing out the speech.

"Yes sir?"

"What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

He thought for a moment.

"That would make the Draught of Living Death sir."

"Correct. Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

"In the stomach of a goat, sir. It's more or less a cure-all for most minor and some major poisons." Harry was glad that he'd re-read his books several times during the summer.

"Correct once again. Finally, Mr. Potter, what is the difference between Monkshood and Wolfsbane?"

Harry almost smiled. Olivia had already told him.

"They're the same plant sir. They're more commonly known as aconite, sir."

"Very good Potter. Please do note this down, as I may test you again."

As soon as he turned away Hermione whispered to Harry: "Well done. Those were tricky. You should have got at least twenty points!"

Snape tapped the board with his wand, and the instructions for a simple boil-curing solution appeared. Harry was glad of his close proximity to the board, as he could make out the ingredients easily enough, and he went to collect ingredients to prepare the base.

He went back to Hermione, who had already filled the cauldron with the exact amount of water needed and lit the wood with a simple _Incendio_.

"Right," said Harry. "You prepare the Porcupine Quills; I'll crush the Snake Fangs and weigh out the other ingredients. I'm going to check on Neville."

It was lucky that he did, because he noticed that he was about to add the Porcupine Quills without taking the cauldron off of the fire. Harry corrected him gently, and went back to his desk, where he finished his part of the brewing and proceeded to stew the horned slugs.

They finished the potion in a little under an hour and a half, so Harry decided to ask the Professor what the homework was.

"Professor Snape, myself and Hermione have finished our potion and we've bottled our results. Here they are. May I ask what the homework assignment is? I'd like to make sure that I get it right."

"Potter," Snape was sneering at him. "I will not accept your potion, since you have evidently been cheating by copying Mr. Longbottom. As for the homework, you can wait for the end of the lesson." With that, he dropped Harry's vial and crushed it under his sole.

Hermione was on the verge of tears. She quickly bottled the rest of the potion and set the vials in her bag.

The end of the lesson soon came, and the homework was announced.

"I want two feet on the difference between a boil inducing solution and the potion you have just made. It must be highly detailed. Class dismissed."

Harry took Hermione to the entrance to Hufflepuff, along with her friend Morag, a reasonably pretty red-headed girl who had seemed nice enough when Harry was introduced, although her sharp wit had scared Harry a little, as had her really quite Snape-like glare.

"Here it is," he told the girls.

"Hello Helga, today I have invited two Ravenclaw first years in with me. Please allow them in, and I would like it if you could register them for entry. Thank you." He was speaking to the statue, which nodded, and then sniffed the girl's hands. Harry went in after them, and led them to the portrait entry.

"Hi Professor Einstein."

"Please, call me Al. Password?"

"Relativity, which is part of your Theory of Relativity, or e = mc squared."

"Correct. You and your Ravenclaw friends may pass."

As they passed through, Harry whispered "I have no clue what that means."

The library/study area was decorated in a light blue and had several small tables dotted around. The friends sat around one, and after a little while Harry spoke.

"Well, now that you two are registered, you can come here more or less indiscriminately, but I'd advise only coming either during break or after dinner, which I'm told normally begins at half past five and, ends at about 7, but there's nothing stopping you from leaving dinner early. We'd better get to charms anyway. Nice talking to you Morag."

"You too, Harry. Hufflepuff suits your personality. You're certainly friendly, you work hard and you're loyal to your good friends. The Trio of Friendship, away!"

They all laughed.

They got to Charms a little early, so they practiced some of the basic charms in Hermione's research notebook. They all liked the voice changing charm, which they used to change Morag's voice into a perfect imitation of Snape's faux intimidating drawl.

"Now, class, I want you all to lick this floor clean and then Potter can kiss my butt." They were all in hysterics when Professor Flitwick arrived. He awarded each of them 5 points for their research, and gave Ravenclaw an extra 5 points for making him laugh so hard he quite cheered up.

The class itself was very fun, as they all had to find and use a charm that would change their partner or partners in a 'significant way'. Most of the class changed their hair colour to a bizarre shade, but Harry, Morag and Hermione decided to use the voice-changing charm along with a mild cheering charm to make Morag into a high Professor Snape, Harry into Professor McGonagall and Hermione into Dumbledore. They were each given 10 points after making Morag sing 'I am so lonely', Harry sing 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' and Hermione sing the Hedgehog Song, which caused everyone to laugh hysterically for 10 minutes. After everyone had calmed down and the spells had worn off, everyone agreed that it was the funniest thing that they had ever seen

Transfiguration was relatively easy. After a small talk on taking the subject seriously, they were each given a match and instructions on how to turn it into a needle. Hermione got it first, then Morag and then Harry. For this, Professor McGonagall awarded them each 5 points and they were asked to demonstrate the technique to their classmates.

Lunch was delicious, although Harry noted that there was less of a selection during term-time than at the Start of Year Feast.

After finishing lunch, Harry went alone to Greenhouse 2, where he was to have Herbology with the Slytherins, including Draco Bond, as he had taken to calling the blond boy.

Professor Sprout, a stout woman wearing patched robes and a crooked hat, introduced herself and paired them off.

"Hannah Abbott with Theodore Nott, Susan Bones with Blaise Zabini, Justin Finch-Fletchley with Pansy Parkinson, Neville Longbottom with Millicent Bulstrode, Harry Potter with Sally-Anne Perks, Ron Weasley with Ernie McMillan, Vincent Crabbe with Gregory Goyle, Draco Malfoy with… oh, we appear to have run out. Make a three with someone, will you?"

Draco swaggered towards Harry, and Sally-Anne didn't look too happy about it either.

"Bond, you can join our group if you want, but you can't insult either of us, our friends, our families, or anything else personal."

"Fine."

Sprout told them that they were going to be collecting honking daffodils, and handed each person a pair of earmuffs, saving a pink pair for Malfoy.

"There you go."

The lesson itself went by without much happening until the end, when Malfoy too Sally-Anne aside. He looked angry, and so did she. Eventually, she kneed him in the groin and ran to catch up with Harry.

"That giant ba-" Harry cut her off.

"Sally-Anne, why are you angry?"

"Malfoy believes he is superior to me because I'm muggle-born, much like your friend Hermione. Well, actually he called me a mudblood, but I prefer to use the less offensive term about myself and others.2

"Well, Miss Perks, would you like to join my little gang? I've always thought that squad or four or quad sounds much better than trio, don't you?" He smiled at her, and she nodded.

"Good. Meet me and Morag and Hermione in the library after dinner. See you then."

**A/N Morag MacDougal and Sally-Anne Perks are not OCs. They are mentioned in passing in the first book.**

**I have invented all of the details about the Hufflepuff living space. If you have seen it before, please notify me in a review.**

**General Disclaimer of all characters other than the Hufflepuff Prefects and anyone else that you don't recognise.**

**It may be a while before I post my next chapter, as I am trying to keep a chapter ahead of things, and the following chapters will probably be between 5 and 10 pages long, depending on my patience.**

**Thanks for Reading!**

**Edited:**** 29/11/09 (Brit Calendar). I desperately wanted to correct some grammatical mistakes and give Ron a hope of redemption. Just to clarify, Harry is going to be with someone who isn't Ginny or Hermione. Do be my guest and try to guess. I'd love to hear your theories on why too; I always love to hear from my readers.**


	3. Chapter 3: Alliances

Chapter 3: Alliances

Harry, Hermione and Morag were sat in the school library quietly chatting about the day's events. Harry had told them about Sally-Anne, and after the initial bombshell they seemed fine with it.

"So, what's this Sally-Anne like?"

"Well, she seemed okay. Hates Malfoy with a vengeance because he regularly insults her and her family because she is a muggle-born. She must be pretty ambitious to be a Slytherin, so…"

At that point Sally-Anne walked in, so Harry got up to greet her.

"Hey. These are my friends Hermione and Morag."

"Hi Harry. So, what do I need to do to join the illustrious group of scholars that you have constructed?" She grinned. "But seriously, Harry, I'm worried about my safety. I'm already being bullied by Draco, but he's starting to bring in the girls in my dorm to sabotage my trunk and he's threatened Etain, my cat. My only friend who's really loyal is Indah, but she can't do much outside of punch Draco in the nose in a street fight, and his father would probably get her expelled for it, regardless that she was defending herself. Can you help me?" She looked imploringly at the trio.

"Well," said Morag, who had somehow acquired a pair of glasses on a chain. "I'm not sure how much we can help you, unless we expand our group to include on of the Gryffindors. Probably a boy, since Harry's already outnumbered, but he wouldn't have to be a first year. We might even be able to persuade one of the Weasley Twins. I've heard that they are masters at pranking, although we may be forced to help in some ways. Any ideas, Mione?"

Hermione stood up and rapped the table with her knuckles. "I think we should consider expanding our group to include another Hufflepuff and possibly two Gryffindors. The Weasley Twins would be ideal, as would Neville." She blushed. "But the main problem would be protecting your belongings, Sal. I suppose that Flitwick could help you trap your trunk, but I'm not sure about your cat. Harry?"

"No idea, Hermione. You could look in the Hufflepuff library. Hmm…" Harry looked thoughtful. "We could request a dorm room change, or you could spend your free time with us in Hufflepuff. I'm sure that everyone would accept you, and the girls are all nice."

They talked for a while more, then went off to Flitwick's office. Hermione knocked twice, respectably, but there was no answer.

"Huh. He must be at a staff meeting. Shall we go and find Professor Snape? As your Head of House, he should know how to protect your belongings."

They had to walk down 3 flights of stairs, so Harry let Hermione and Morag go back to their common room.

They arrived at Snape's office at about quarter to eight. Sally knocked on the door.

"Enter." Came a voice from within.

They opened the door, Sally-Anne entering first.

"Sir, I'm worried. The others in Slytherin are threatening me and my possessions, as well as my cat Etain. We couldn't find Professor Flitwick, so could you please help me protect my belongings?" Snape got up and turned away. Sally couldn't see his face, but his muscles were tensed and he looked angry.

"Miss Perks, perhaps if you do not wish to have your possessions destroyed, you should consult the headmaster about a resorting. I have no time in my busy schedule to waste on 'helping' arrogant little mudblood chits like you. Perhaps you should consider running to Potter, he and his fellow weaklings might have at least some chance of protecting you from your betters."

"But sir-"

"Don't you dare 'but sir' me, Miss Perks. Your lineage is not sufficient for me to waste my time protecting your tainted possessions. Perhaps you should consider having your cat put down, as you are evidently unable to take care of it sufficiently. Now get out of my sight."

She burst into tears and ran out of the classroom. Harry saw red, and barely resisted the urge to charge in a hex Snape's face off. Instead he knocked on the door respectfully and waited for admittance.

"Come in. Oh, it's you Potter. Come to beg for my help for your little mudblood fan girl?"

Harry shook his head. "Actually sir, I merely wanted to point out that such gross misconduct towards a student, including insulting said student for something which they had no control over, is very much against school rules, and I do know how to use a pensieve sir, although I mean no disrespect. Oh, and Hermione is getting Madame Pomfrey to analyze the potion that we made this morning. Goodbye."

Snape's face had grown increasingly puce-like in colour. Just as Harry was out of the door, he exploded.

"POTTER! How DARE you speak to me in that tone!" But Harry was already half way to the common room when Snape had finished, but if he had heard, he would have been surprised at just how much he sounded like Uncle Vernon.

Harry found Sally-Anne sobbing in an alcove near the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room. She looked up with red-rimmed eyes and the ghost of a smile appeared on her face.

"H-Hey H-Harry. S-s-sorry that I ran out l-like that. He's so scary sometimes." She sniffed.

"Don't worry, Sally-Anne. Oh, and I'll clean you up before I take you to the common room." He pointed his wand at her and muttered '_Scourgify_' "There. Now, let's get you registered for entry."

After guiding her through the entry process, and getting her inside, he sat her down on the sofa and adopted a serious expression.

"Now, Sally-"

She interrupted. "Could you call me Annie, please?"

"Okay. Now, Annie, we're going to have to talk to Professor Dumbledore in the morning. He of all people should be able to protect your possessions. First, let's get your cat. I found a nifty little charm that will apparate your cat to us. _Specialo Accio Animalis Etain._" The cat in question appeared next to Annie, who quickly picked her up and buried her face in it's fur. "Now that I've done that, I'll go and wake up Susan or Hannah. They'll probably have a spare nightgown or something. You're definitely not going back to your own dorm tonight."

He went and knocked respectfully on Hannah's door, which was answered reasonably quickly.

"Can you lend Annie a spare nightie? Only she's been badly threatened and she doesn't feel safe in her own dormitory."

"Of course Harry. She can have the one I was planning on wearing tomorrow." She handed it to him with a grin, before closing the door.

Annie smiled weakly at him as he handed her the clothes. "Now we only need a blanket and pillow, and I'll be set."

Harry thought about this, and then went over to one of the many small cupboards lining the room, and extracted the items necessary. He threw them over, bade her goodnight, dimmed the lights and went to bed.

September 3rd, Hufflepuff Common Room, 6:00am

Early the next morning, Harry went to check on Annie in the common room.

"Annie," he whispered. "You should probably wake up before anyone else comes in."

She woke with a moan, blinking blearily through sleep-filled eyes. "Five more minutes, Harry,"

"Sorry Annie, but I know for a fact that Neville is always up at 6:20, and you need to get dressed."

"Fine, Mr Slave Driver!" She stuck her tongue out at him, bundled her clothes together and marched off to the girl's bathroom.

Harry set off to the boy's showers, and enjoyed a good quarter of an hour of hot water ( thank the heavens for permanent warming charms) before drying off and setting off towards his room to get dressed.

At about seven o' clock, he went back into the common room to find Annie talking delightedly to Susan Bones and Hannah Abbott.

"Hey Harry! Hannah and Susan were just telling me about how wizards live normally. It would be so great to have a permanent warming charm at home. My little brother always uses up all of the hot water before me!" She grinned,

"I know, my cousin and uncle do that too. My Aunt just uses the en-suite in her room." _When they even let me have a shower, _he thought grimly.

They all ran down to the Great Hall, where Annie resolutely sat next to Susan.

"Annie, are you thure that you can thit there?" Susan looked a little worried.

"Don't worry, if anyone tries to take points, I'll point out that Hermione almost always sits next to Harry, and they don't punish her." Her eyes were twinkling mischievously.

She helped herself to 3 sausages, a fried egg and some black pudding, then smothered it in tomato sauce. She picked up her goblet and said "Hot Chocolate" before turning back to the group, who were staring at her.

"What? Now if they ask me to leave I can point out that I already have food. Slytherins are cunning remember, not all of them are evil." She giggled, and then dug in. By the time she had finished, she had somehow got tomato sauce on her ear, and, by some freak accident, fried egg on her ankles.

"Are you always such a messy eater?"

"Why, yes, I am. I have 3 brothers and a sister, food doesn't sit still for long in my house."

At that point Snape stormed over.

"Miss Perks, may I remind you that all meals are supposed to be eaten with your own house?" He scowled at her.

"But sir, my own house, including you, have disowned me. I was homeless, so my friends here adopted me." She pouted adorably, and piled on the puppy dog eyes. All in all, she was obviously an expert at winning smiles. Snape staked away, looking noticeably put out.

"We have _so _got to prank him." There was a series of emphatic nods. Hermione rushed over from the Ravenclaw table.

"Harry, look at your schedule." He complied.

'Tuesday:

History of Magic with Ravenclaw (Professor Binns)

Flying with Ravenclaws (Madame Hooch)

Break

Defence Against the Dark Arts with Ravenclaw (Professor Quirrell)

Free Period

Lunch

Transfiguration with Ravenclaw (Professor McGonagall)

Free Period (Rest Advised)

Dinner

Astronomy with Ravenclaw (Professor Sinistra)'

"And?" Harry wasn't sure what she was excited about.

"Harry! History of Magic! Won't that be fascinating?" Cedric Diggory looked up from the book on Quidditch he was reading.

"Don't bet on it. Binns is such a boring teacher that his ghost couldn't be bothered to leave, so now he teaches us."

"Wow! A ghost, teaching!" Hermione refused to stop bouncing for about 5 minutes, but suddenly stopped and looked at the head table. "Where's Professor Dumbledore?"

September 3rd, Headmaster's Office, 8:00am

"Oh, Alistair, why did you sort him there, of all places?"

Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumbledore was worried. Alistair, the Hogwarts Sorting Hat, was refusing to answer his increasingly desperate questions.

"Albus," said the Hat finally, as it's brim sat perched upon the Headmaster's long and crooked nose. "The boy simply did not want to be a Gryffindor, and for perfectly sound reasons."

"And what are those, might I ask?"

"He was afraid that his classmates would befriend him for all of the wrong reasons. You know that he would be miserable there."

"Yes, but… Hufflepuff?"

"He is fiercely loyal to his friends, hard-working, and, if I may say so, an awful lot like Helga herself in temperament."

"Yes, but wouldn't he have done just as well in Ravenclaw?"

"No. While he is very intelligent, he would not be happy among so many bookworms and others of the like. I think, Albus, that you're only annoyed that it will be harder to manipulate him to your own ends when he is surrounded by loyal friends. You've waited for years to get him here to 'take him under your wing'. I saw what those disgusting people did to him. Bow or Break is not even half of it!"

"Alistair, it's for the greater go-"

The hat interrupted him. "For the greater good indeed. You know perfectly well that Voldemort has no idea that Harry is anywhere but his parent's house, and was raised by the perfect family. How much easier would it be for him to turn Harry dark with care and a few kind words? He has been abused, Albus, and you cannot change that."

Albus did not answer for a long time.

September 3rd, History of Magic, 9:05

Harry was getting increasingly bored. Binns was apparently fixated on some wars that had occurred between the Gringotts Goblins and the Wizarding World hundreds of years ago. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hermione's hand shoot up.

5 minutes later, she was called on.

"Sir, could you please tell us about the founders of Hogwarts? I'm doing some research for my parents."

The Professor was startled, but then everyone looked around at him. There was a small cough from the back of the classroom.

"Hem hem. If I may, noble sir, I believe that we should tell this story." The cough had come from a small patch of air at the back of the classroom.

"Well, I-I suppose that you could-"

"Very good, sir. Rowena, Salazar, Helga?"

4 patches of air shimmered before forming into 4 very different ghosts. They all wore different house colours for their robes. The man in front was wearing red and gold dress robes, and at his side hung an empty scabbard decorated with rubies. The first woman was wearing blue and bronze robes and had quite large front teeth. The next man was wearing green and silver robes, and smiling genially. Last came a beautiful woman wearing yellow and black robes, who had raven black hair and bright hazel eyes.

"Wh-" Professor Binns stuttered for the first time in his after-life.

"No need, good sir. When an heir summons us, we come gratefully. Which of you called for us?" He looked around with a kindly expression. Ever so slowly, a small, scared Ravenclaw raised her hand.

"I-I did sir."

**A/N Disclaimer, yada yada yada. **

**Muahahahahaha! I'm so evil! Before you leave any scathing reviews, please listen to my reasoning for this. It will be fully explained next chapter, but here's the run-down. Rowena Ravenclaw lived, as we know, over a thousand years ago. She had one child, a squib, before dying of an incurable disease. This child was highly intelligent as a result, and married reasonably quickly. He had many children, none of which were magical. Most of these died without children, except for one, a girl, who had one child. This continued, no magical children being born to the family, as the surname evolved into Rowan. Eventually (read over a thousand years later) one of the children (still non-magical) married Hermione's father, Devon Granger, and had Hermione, who, as we all know, is magical.**

**My friend LyssaOneiroi, who I keep plugging shamelessly, has helped a lot with the bases for the next chapter, which may take a day, or may take much longer. There will be more humour next chapter, as well as some more in-depth explanations, and some more surprises.**


	4. Chapter 4: Meet the Grand Parents

Previously on Badgers and Lions…

_4 patches of air shimmered before forming into 4 very different ghosts. They all wore different house __colours__ for their robes. The man in front was wearing red and gold dress robes, and at his side hung an empty scabbard decorated with rubies. The first woman was wearing blue and bronze robes and had quite large front teeth. The next man was wearing green and silver robes, and smiling genially. Last was a beautiful woman, wearing yellow and black robes, who had raven black hair and bright hazel eyes._

"_Wh-" Professor Binns stuttered for the first time in his after-life._

"_No need, good sir. When an heir summons us, we come gratefully. Which of you called for us?" He looked around with a kindly expression. Ever so slowly, a small, scared Ravenclaw raised her hand._

"_I-I did sir."_

Chapter 4: Meet the (Grand) Parents

Hermione stood very slowly, following her hand into the air. She was stunned.

"B-b-but…" The woman in blue and bronze robes cut her off.

"Don't worry for now, Hermione is it? While we are most glad to find the presence of two heirs in a day, we were called to teach, and teach we must." She turned to the shocked class. "Good morning class."

The children immediately replied, "Good Morning!"

"You may sit. Now, as you may have surmised, I and my companions are the ghosts of the four founders of Hogwarts. I, of course, am Rowena Ravenclaw, the man with the scabbard is Godric Gryffindor, the man next to him is Salazar Slytherin, and last but certainly not least, Helga Hufflepuff rounds up our little gang.

This is a story that may take some telling. At the time of our birth, no magical schools existed. Instead, every magical child (and there were many thousands born in those days, believe you me) was apprenticed to a master of a certain art at an appropriate age, usually around 11 or 12, after being taught reading, writing, and some magical theory. Of course, muggleborns were scouted out periodically, but generally they grew up ignorant of their powers and some were drowned as children after bouts of Accidental Magic. We, that is to say Godric, Salazar, Helga and I, are cousins, and as such were brought up quite closely. I was apprenticed as a healer, Salazar as a potions master, Godric as an Auror and Helga as a Herbologist, although we tended to meet and exchange knowledge every month or so. On one of these sessions, Salazar lamented his master's ignorance of spell-damage and its effects on which potions a person should take to heal. This particular master was an advocate of the 'give them a healing potion and send them away' school of healing. I interceded that you should actually use the correct potion for the spell, and then Godric interjected that if we were so annoyed about the declining educational standards in Magical Britain (or words to that effect) them we should set up a school ourselves."

Godric interrupted her. "You do know that I was joking, don't you Rowie?"

"Yes, I did little Ricky. And if you ever call me Rowie again, in any setting at all, then I will rip off your limbs and shove them so far down your throat that they'll come out the other end. Anyway, after that little interruption," she smiled beatifically, if a little creepily. "We shall resume the story. Godric, as he has just told us, was joking, but Helga and I, geniuses that we are, decided that it was too good an opportunity to miss, so we pooled a few resources and came up with enough spare money to buy a plot of land in Scotland, which was going nice and cheaply after a flood had washed the nutrients from the soil. First, we had to find a place to plan. I constructed a magical room, known today as the Room of Requirement. It took another 40 years from then to finish Hogwarts, and for Helga to round up all of the students for the first year, which ended up with about 500 students. We decided to have no head teacher-it would not be possible to share between us."

"No, Rowena. You told us that it would be impossible, and then glared at us if we tried to argue. How _very_ democratic." Salazar had a mischievous grin on his face.

"Shut up, Salazar. Anyway, any questions should be directed towards Salazar, who will answer them to the best of his limited ability or refer it to one of us."

Salazar picked a hand at random from the throng. "Name first, then question if you please."

"Zacharias Smith and my question is-How the hell can a muggleborn be the heir of Ravenclaw?!"

Rowena looked at him coldly. "Hermione Granger is my heir, of that I am certain. I had one child, a squib, but still shockingly intelligent. I died a few days after he reached his 20th birthday, but I understand the Hermione is my… 39 times great grand-daughter. She is also the first daughter and first magical child since I was alive. I think it's a hereditary thing… only the female members of the Ravenclaw family can be magical. Of course, all that pent up magic has now manifested in Hermione, so she'll be a very powerful witch. Next!"

Salazar chose a small girl with short blonde hair. "Susan Bones, sir. Is Harry Hufflepuff's heir? Because I know the Potters are an old family, so…"

"Helga, will you take this one? I'm not that good at genealogy."

Helga stepped forward. "Of course I will, Salazar. Now, Susan is it? Well, my granddaughter Audra married Harold Potter when I was, oh, about 90, I suppose. They had a son and a daughter, but unfortunately the daughter died of dragon pox when she was 7. After that, my granddaughter and her husband moved to the other end of the country and we gradually lost contact. To misquote Rowena, I believe that Harry is my 39 times great grandson. Now, Rowena, since we've told them what they asked, what shall we do?"

Rowena shrugged. "I believe standard procedure should be followed."

"Plan A or Plan B?"

"Plan A with a copious amount of the going to London involved in Plan B."

"Good Idea. I'm sorry, but _Obliviate_!" She swept her wand across the room, careful to avoid Harry and Hermione, before grabbing both of their shoulders and running through the door, Helga following close behind.

"Where are we going?" panted Harry as he ran as fast as he could to catch up with his many times great grandmother.

"Nowhere you cannot come. Now hurry up, we need to get to the seventh floor, opposite that tapestry…" They ran on up many winding staircases, through doors and ghosts and along identical corridors, before grinding to a halt on a seemingly inconspicuous point in the middle of a maze of corridors.

"Why are we standing in the middle of an empty corridor?"

Helga smiled. "Well, my little Harry, we could be here to make it easier to kill you without anyone knowing, or we could be standing in front of the Room of Requirement, a little-known secret room that was the base of operations for the building of this school. I think the latter is somewhat more likely, and a lot more fun. Don't you? Some really fascinating runework involved too… Anyway, to access the place that we're going you must walk back and forth in front of this section of the wall thinking "I would appreciate seeing Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw's Chamber." You have to be polite for it to work properly. Oh, and it will only work for you and your close friends if you wish to show them."

Harry and Hermione obeyed Helga's instructions, and were soon inside the door that had appeared. They were standing inside what appeared to be a large elevator with a panel displaying about 12 buttons. On a cursory glance, such names were encountered as "Memory Viewing", "Electricity Research" and "Library". Hermione was salivating at the prospect of a library compiled over 100s of years, but once their respective ancestors entered the elevator, they were informed that it was to be a guided tour.

First, Helga pushed the button entitled "Dueling Chamber". The elevator, in a manner reminiscent of a certain book by Roald Dahl, whizzed off in a tight spiral before stopping inside a room with nothing but a long, narrow strip of floor that had been fenced off.

"This room is designed as the perfect duelling location. The walls absorb any badly aimed spells, so it's a fair approximation of the professional locations that they use for championships." She nodded to Rowena, who pressed the button labelled "Library", which caused a small bout of squealing from Hermione, before she remembered that it was only a tour. They halted in front of the first row of books.

"The books are sorted by category, and then in alphabetical order within that. There are, at my last count, 312,764 books in here. You may add any books that you wish to. Over there is our search engine." She indicated an A4 notebook lying on a table in the corner. "It is similar to a computer, as it has a letter board and moniker, and it should be able to access the inter web, but its main function is to catalogue all of the books within this room. You may investigate further later."

They were whisked on a whirlwind tour of the rooms, which included two small en-suite bedrooms, a self stocking potions cupboard and a room filled with magical versions of muggle machines, before finally arriving at a small, unremarkable room with white walls and no doors.

"This," said Rowena, her voice deepened dramatically for comic effect, "Is the Apparition Room. It is the only place in Hogwarts that is not connected to the apparition wards, or, to be more accurate, is the only place in Hogwarts that the heirs and others who are allowed may apparate in. And now we shall utilise this feature to take you to Gringotts, where we will have a talk with our account manager, Caphook. We each have two vaults: one for money and jewels etc. and one for heirlooms and interesting objects. You, Harry, may also wish to look at the Potter Vaults, which are of a similar setup. Oh, and we have each allocated a small corner of our money vaults for paperwork. The most recent heir to claim the title, albeit in secret, has organised them into filing cabinets, which are really quite useful. We must be off. Bye!" She grabbed Hermione's shoulder and disappeared with an almost inaudible 'pop'.

"Well," said Helga with a trace of amusement. "I didn't catch any of that. Did you?"

"Well, I did, but only because I'm almost used to Hermione-speed speech."

Helga nodded. "That makes sense. Anyway, please call me Grandmother. It helps with familiarity. Let's go!" And she grabbed his shoulder before apparating.

Harry felt like he was about to be squashed to death. He was spinning very fast but at the same time standing stock still, with what felt like a feather pillow pressed to his face. He was about to cry out when they arrived at Gringotts.

"Where are we going?" he asked Helga, as she hurried him down even more featureless, identical corridors.

"We are going to Caphook's Office to have you registered. Now, here we are, Office Number 259. Go on in, dear." He obeyed, and found a small, shrivelled humanoid sat behind an enormous mahogany desk, in front of which sat Hermione and Rowena on two plush velvet chairs. Hermione smiled at him and Helga and indicated two seats next to her.

"Now that we are all here," said the creature, who Harry assumed (correctly) to be Caphook the Goblin, "We can start our evaluation of your finances. We shall begin by addressing some of our main statements, namely that you must be of age to manage your accounts. However, Gringotts has a rule, instituted in the founder's time, that if an heir to one of the founders is magical and has no magical relatives; they will automatically come of age when they first attend Hogwarts, and have learned the basics of magic. So, you are both technically of age in the Ministry's eyes. Bureaucratic rules are quite fun when they make something technically correct. Here are your portfolios." She (or he, Harry couldn't tell) handed he and Hermione large leather folders, with a badger embossed on the front for him, and a raven for Hermione.

"If you will open your folders to the first page, you will find a summary of your financial assets in your monetary vault. They both hold roughly the same amount of gold, but young Mr Potter's may contain more paperwork than Miss Granger's, due to his family's ability to use the fund." Harry opened his folder, then read a few of the preliminary disclaimers and slid his eyes down the page until he found the 'Net Wealth' category. It said that the vault held 4,398,231 galleons, 10 sickles and 23 knuts. It also stated that the vault held title deeds to three prospering businesses, two hotels and a bed and breakfast in Holland; controlling interests in several other corporations (including, to Harry's delight, Grunnings: His Uncle's place of work), deeds to 3 houses, Hufflepuff House and several apartments around the world.

"Wow," thought Harry. "My family sure was busy." Meanwhile, Hermione was gazing open mouthed at her portfolio.

"Wh-what!" She yelled.

"What's up, Mione?" Harry was quietly amused.

"It-It says that I own 3.5 million galleons, several houses and all the surviving texts from the Library at Alexandria!" Harry laughed at how she got more excited over the books and scrolls than the money. She just continued to stare at the page in disbelief.

"Yes, I had a feeling that you would be quite surprised about that. Muggles do say that various parties destroyed all of the scrolls at the library in the 7th century, but someone," Rowena flushed and looked embarrassed. "Decided to use an advanced time-turner to travel back to just before they stormed the place and 'confiscated' all of the books on magic and related studies. But if we shall move on, please turn to the next page in your folders. It details your houses and their facilities. Now, Mr Potter, Gringotts has been doing some research recently into the under-age inheritors to check on their familial situations, but when we came to you, we discovered a remnant of failed blood wards on a muggle home in Surrey, which to our knowledge is not your listed place of address. Your registered home is a small home in Hogsmeade, belonging to Professor Dumbledore. We have done some deeper research and found that your parent's wills were never executed. We eventually discovered them in the possession of Professor Dumbledore. Would you like to read them after we have finished with the Hufflepuff vaults?"

Harry was shocked. He'd always assumed (if he thought about it at all) that he'd been adopted by the Dursleys, but now it turned out that he was officially Professor Dumbledore's houseguest! He took a deep breath. "Yes, I'd like that very much."

"Good. Now, if you'd like to turn to the property page, as I said…"

Harry turned to the correct page, and looked at the first property on the list. It said:

Hufflepuff House, Near Ottery St. Catchpole, Devon

Floors: 4

Bedrooms: 7

Bathrooms: 9

House-Elves: 10

Reception Rooms: 2

Dining Rooms: 1

Kitchens: 2 (One for House-Elf use)

House-Elf Quarters Annex

Other Amenities:

Indoor Swimming Pool

3rd floor devoted to Technomagic

Quidditch Pitch

Pensieve Room (Similar to Muggle VR software)

Fitness Suite

Library

"Wow again," thought Harry. "That's a big house." He turned towards Caphook. "Are there any other things that we should see in the portfolios?"

Caphook bared his (her?) teeth in a goblin approximation of a smile. "Why yes, there is Mr Potter. The last two parts are the contents of your heirloom vaults and your keys. There is also a rather interesting new invention, known as the Ever-Ready. It is, basically, a money pouch that will constantly replenish itself until either your vault is empty or you cancel the spell. It cannot be opened by anyone but you, so it's highly secure. But if you will, I assume that you would like to see the Potter portfolio."

"I'd like that, sir."

Caphook pulled another folder from the depths of the desk, and handed it to Harry. "It's ma'am, but anyway, you may wish to take this with you and peruse it at a later time, as your ancestors will probably wish to show you some of the items that they wish you to take."

Harry looked over at Helga and Rowena, who were huddled in a corner talking quietly.

"Grandmother, Lady Ravenclaw, we should probably continue on to the vault."

They stood up. "Very well, dear. We were just discussing what items to give you."

"This way, everyone!" Rowena bounced on the balls of her feet.

After a short and generally nauseating cart ride, they arrived in front of vaults 73 and 74.

"Right, Helga, you take Harry and I'll take Hermione. Don't forget what we agreed on!"

Helga smiled again. "Don't worry, I won't." She led Harry through the door in a large room filled six feet deep with items in some places.

"Now Harry," said Helga, restraining him from rushing towards a wall covered with broomsticks. "First, I shall show you my cup… now where could it be? Oh, I know! _Accio_ cup!" A goblet flew towards her after appearing out of thin air. "Oh dear… It looks like it's been turned into a horcrux. And, before you ask, a horcrux is an object that has been made into a container for a soul fragment. Luckily, I know a spell to retrieve the soul fragment without destroying the object, which is good because this is a very important artefact." She mumbled something long and complex under her breath, then jabbed her wand at the cup, which glowed white. "Good, the fragment is gone. Now, the Hufflepuff cup is a panacea for all ills-in that whatever you pour into it will automatically become a cure-all, very effective too. I made it during one of the first attacks on Hogwarts, just after Salazar and Godric were killed. Moving on, we come to the section on books involving Hogwarts." She led him through the stacks to a tottering pile of books atop a suitcase. "First, you need this," she handed him a thick notebook with the words 'How to Use Hogwarts to Prank People Spectacularly' written on the cover. "That was written by your father and his friends Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. It should be fairly useful really. Next we come to a book on the Room of Requirement, and I understand that your father used the enchantments for if he ever lost a book and needed a replacement from his trunk. Very useful, that book. And lastly we come to a book on the House Points System. It mostly shows methods of restoring points that were unjustly subtracted and taking points unjustly awarded, that sort of thing."

"Now we come to the wands section," she said, sweeping her arm in the direction of several stacks of wand boxes. "They're organised by wood, and then by core. I suggest that if you ever consider getting another wand, you look for one with a similar length and core to your current wand. The wood isn't as important. Lastly, we come to my favourite, the Quidditch section. This broom," she indicated a sleek black broom with no writing on the handle "Is the best broom ever made. It has every safety charm ever constructed on it, it is impossible to jinx, it can reach speeds of up to 200mph, it can perform 90 degree turns and it cannot hit the ground. Ah, I had a lot of fun making this, and then my descendants added to it. Anyway, now it's yours, should you want it." she looked at Harry, and then shook her head. "It's an obvious answer, huh. Well, the last item is a time-turner, which you are to use only in emergencies, and now. First we should go convene with Rowena and Hermione." She led him back through the stacks, him tottering dangerously due to being weighed down with all of the objects as well as his two portfolios. "Oh, I'm sorry! I forgot that you had to carry everything as well as your portfolios." She cast a shrinking spell on the objects, and Harry managed to fit them all into his pockets.

Outside of the vaults Hermione was visibly struggling with a large pile of items, on top of which was stack a pile of leather-bound books. Rowena, having caught sight of Harry's bulging pockets, smacked her forehead (making a strange plashing sound) and cast the shrinking spell on Hermione's things as well.

"Well, I'm glad to see you forgetting something for once. Now, both of you have your time-turners, correct?"

Both children nodded.

"Well, first we'll apparate back into Hogwarts, and then I want you both to turn your time-turners clockwise once. It should bring you back to about 9 o'clock, so should be able to get to the History of Magic classroom just after we left originally. Let's go!" She grabbed both of them by the shoulders and apparated back to the chamber.

"Run along, and don't forget to use the time-turners!" she shouted at their retreating backs.

They stopped outside the History of Magic Classroom, and twisted their time-turners once. Harry saw the corridor in slow-motion, people passing by chatting and professors hurrying by with stacks of unmarked parchments. All of a sudden the blurriness stopped and Hermione pulled him back into the classroom, where the students were all already asleep.

"Wow, 20 seconds. It must be a new record for boredom-induced sleep."

For the rest of the lesson he and Hermione talked quietly about the subject they were studying (Binns had almost made Hermione fall asleep-a rare achievement) and quizzing each other on the items their respective ancestors had retrieved for them. Harry, having already told Hermione, listened to her with interest.

"Well, first she said that she would need to find her diadem, but she couldn't so she used her summoning charm and it came, but it turned out to be a horcrux, just like Lady Helga's cup, so she did the spell and then she said that whenever I wore it I would have flashes of great insight and innovation, and that it would improve my memory. Then she showed me some books, including the one by your dad-I can't wait to read it! And then she found me a broom to my liking so I'll have no problems if I ever join the Quidditch team!" She smiled.

The next lesson was flying, by coincidence, so Harry and Hermione rushed down to the field that was normally used for the lessons. As they couldn't take their nice new brooms, they contented themselves with the thought that they could at least use them in second year.

When they got down to the field, they found the newest looking brooms and took them to stand next to Neville, who smiled at them in greeting, which made Hermione blush.

"Alright, class! Extend your hand over the broom, and shout 'UP!' Then mount them in the way that feels most natural to you. Commence!" Madame Hooch blew her whistle, and 20 voices shouted "UP!" to varying degrees of success. While Harry, Hermione and Neville's brooms leapt into their hands, Morag's took two tries, and everyone else was still shouting when Madame Hooch blew her whistle again and told them to mount rather than keep trying. She moved along the line, correcting various people's postures (Harry got a guilty pleasure when Hooch told Zacharias Smith that he'd been doing it wrong for years) and then told them to kick off on the count of 3.

"1 2 3!" the Professor shouted, and then dived out of the way as the students flew into the air.

"Woo Hoo!" screamed Harry as the wind whipped through his hair. This was great!

He looked for Hermione and saw her hovering about 20 feet away, eyes shining.

"Now class," yelled Hooch over the excitement and screaming. "I want you to fly around a bit to get used to it before we do some of the more complicated manoeuvres!"

The class did so for a few minutes, and all was going well until…

"NEVILLE!" shrieked Hermione. Neville had somehow managed to fall off of his broom while executing a sharp turn. He was plummeting towards the earth at terminal velocity.

Harry dived after him, urging the broom to move faster, catching up just in time to grab his collar and drag the broom back to a normal horizontal position, before flying over to Neville's floating broom.

"There, you are Neville." Harry smiled, and flew off to Madame Hooch, who was gesticulating wildly in his direction.

"What on earth did you do, Potter? That was a perfect Wronski Feint, and performed without training! You could have been killed! Come with me. We're going to see Professor Sprout."

Harry followed her to Sprout's office on the 6th floor, where she knocked respectfully and waited for an answer.

"Come In!" a voice called. At this, Madame Hooch complied, frog-marching him into the room to stand in front of his portly head of house.

"Ah, Rolanda. And young Mr Potter, it seems. I'm going to assume that this has something to do with your flying lesson, and it was probably quite interesting, yes?"

Hooch seemed to consider something for a moment. "Pomona, you know that you were so sad when Grenney left last year? That you thought no one could ever be as good as him? I've found someone _better_! Longbottom fell off of his broom during flying, so Potter here races after him, dives straight down and executes a perfect Wronski Feint, catches hi friend, then goes after his friend's broom! Certainly the most fearless and best seeker I've seen in years!"

"Well! I suppose I'll have to talk with the headmaster, but you are most certainly in the running to become our new seeker! Good Luck!"

Harry ran to his next lesson as if he was walking on air. Hermione beckoned him over to her desk. "What on earth did you think you were doing?" her eyes blazing, "You could have been killed!" She looked ready to murder him, but luckily Professor Quirrell finally managed to write his name on the blackboard without shaking.

"G-g-good M-m-morning, c-c-class. N-now, m-my n-name is P-p-p-professor Quirrell. T-t-today w-we'll be s-studying t-the p-p-practical application of D-d-defence A-against t-the D-dark A-arts."

The lesson didn't get any better. The so called 'practical application' turned out to be reading the textbook and writing out the rules listed under the heading 'What Not To Do' which appeared to include the words 'Do Not Draw Your Wand'.

All in all, it was a quite exciting morning.

**A/N Disclaimer, blah, blah, blah**

**Sorry I took so long to write this-my laptop died, taking with it all of my story data and the original 10 pages of this chapter.**

**Please don't expect the next chapter for a few weeks-I've been WAY too busy to get more than a few minutes of writing time a day (Gahh! I hate Year 9 Homework assignments!). Plus, I'm working on a piece of original fiction that I hope to get published someday, so don't hold your breath (And I mean that in the nicest way possible!)**


	5. Chapter 5: Keeping the Secret Badly

Chapter 5: Keeping the Secret (Badly)

The next hour was a free period, so Harry and Hermione went to find Annie in the Potions classroom. They loitered for a few minutes, before a quiet conversation inside the room exploded into a full blown row.

Knowing that he probably shouldn't be this interested, Harry crept towards the open doorway and peeked around the edge of the doorframe to see Professor Snape and Annie having a full-blown glaring competition.

It appeared that Annie was winning, but Harry couldn't be sure as the next moment Snape looked down and pointed Annie to the door. She rushed out and jumped slightly as she noticed Harry and Hermione standing there.

"Hi Harry, hi Hermione! Where's Morag? Or Neville, come to think of it."

"She stayed behind in DADA. I think she was going to rant about the awful lesson to Professor Quirrell, and Neville got roped in to help. He's terrified of her glare. Anyway, given that we have a free period now, what shall we do?"

Hermione's eyes lit up. "Oh! We could show her the-" Harry covered her mouth with his hand, and then pulled her to a nearby alcove. Annie didn't seem to mind. In fact, she just looked at them with a knowing smile.

"Don't just tell her! We have to lead up to it. Besides, are you sure?" he whispered furiously.

"Well, she's going to find out eventually! We may as well tell her now, since she's here!" Hermione's fractured reasoning somehow convinced Harry, perhaps because he didn't really have the time to argue.

"Now, Hermione, what were you saying? Perhaps you and Mr Potter were planning to tell me about your plans to elope this coming summer?" Annie was standing right behind them, her eyebrow arched in question. The sarcasm in her voice didn't quite make it to Hermione, who blushed.

"N-no, I don't have a crush on H-Harry, I have one on um…" She caught herself, but Annie grabbed hold and pulled.

"Um…who? I love this sort of thing!"

"W-well, it's Neville." She was blushing furiously now. Luckily, Harry stepped in to help.

"No, Annie, she was about to tell you something we found out earlier. We can show you now if you'd like." Annie nodded, smiling.

They rushed up to the seventh floor, narrowly avoiding Mrs Norris, and coming to a rest outside of the invisible doorway.

"You do know that we've come to a standstill beside a blank stretch of wall and a frankly weird tapestry, don't you." The dreaded eyebrow had appeared again, so Harry simply opened the door.

They led the dumbstruck Annie through to the lift and pressed the button that led them to the library.

Stepping out of the elevator, Harry turned to Annie. "Like it?"

"Where are we?"

"Well, my little Annie, we are in the Room of Requirement, although I suppose we should give this particular section of it a name. How about the 'Chamber of Ravenpuff'? Or maybe I shall merely tell you that I and Hermione are the heirs to two of the founders, namely Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. And don't act surprised, because I'm pretty sure that you have already researched my history and noticed how fast Hermione learns. You're perceptive like that. And before you say that that was incredibly well thought out, which you weren't going to, I must point out that I've been thinking about this since just before flying." Annie stared at him open mouthed. "Well, that's officially the first time I've shocked you speechless. Now, let's have a look round. What sort of thing would you like to do when you grow up?" Annie looked thoughtful after shutting her jaw.

"Well, I'd quite like to be a healer. My mum's a chemist, so I've always known about the muggle side of things. I don't know about my dad though, my mum re-married then got divorced after she had me. That was a tangent, sorry. I do that a lot." Harry led her to the catalogue, which, when opened, did indeed look like a muggle computer. He typed in the word 'healing' which brought up 4,000 results.

"Ah. Do you think you can refine that?"

"Maybe. I've always thought about psychology, you know, the study of how the mind works. So maybe a therapist." He typed 'therapist' in. It came up with three results. The first result said 'Ice Phoenixes-Healing the Mind'. The next said 'Physiotherapy: An Auror's Tale' and lastly 'The Road to Recovery: Therapy from the eyes of Healer Brunswick'.

"What an interesting selection," sad Annie, sarcasm dripping from her tongue. "Two 'heart-wrenching' novels and a book on a mythical creature. Still, it's better than nothing, so I guess I'd like to read the Ice Phoenix book, if I may." She checked the aisle number and wandered off into the stacks.

Harry decided to type in his preferred profession. He'd had two private fantasies about his future going for a while now. The first, concocted after his first lesson with Miss Tonks in Year 6, was to become a famous mathematician, a lecturer at Cambridge University and get away from the Dursleys. The second had been thought up at a very young age after the first, and only, time that he had been obliged to go to the hospital.

He'd been tiling the roof when he was 6, when Dudley decided to steal the ladder to go climb the oak tree in the Polkiss's garden. Harry had been oblivious of this and when he had tried to step back onto the ladder he had fallen onto the concrete patio, breaking his leg in three separate places. The Dursleys, much to their chagrin, had to take him to the hospital after Mrs Figg, his babysitter, happened by and saw his horribly bent leg. What had followed was the best two months of Harry's life. He got three meals a day, a nice, soft bed and he got to play with all of the toys in the playroom, along with managing to make a friend while playing on the Sega they had. Ever since then he'd wanted to work in a hospital, helping children. He typed in the words 'healing children'. It came up with 3 results.

After picking them off of the shelves and putting them in his bag, he found a tiny rectangle. Pulling it out, he noticed a tiny crest painted on the cover, but he couldn't quite make it out. He tapped it with his wand, and it expanded into a large leather portfolio.

"Of course; I'd forgotten I hadn't looked at the Potter Portfolio yet." He sat on a conveniently placed armchair and opened it to the first page, detailing the net worth of the Potter Vaults. He scanned the page, looking at the individual amounts and coming to rest his eyes on the Net Worth title. It said that the vaults held 4,372,138 galleons, 16 sickles and 5 knuts.

After his experience in the Hufflepuff vaults, he had been expecting a similar amount of money, but almost 4 and a half million galleons…that he had not been expecting. With a quick mental calculation (Hermione had told him that the exchange rate was currently around 7 pounds per Galleon) he conclude that he owned roughly 60,000,000 pound sterling.

Shell-shocked, he turned to the next page of the portfolio, to look at his properties and business interests.

He scanned the shares section, noting that he owned, among other things, a 55% interest in Honeydukes, which he assumed was a sweet shop of some sort.

Going onto the 'houses' section, he noted that he owned 4 houses from the Potter side: 'Potter Manor' (Actually it was called Phoenix's Rest), a small cottage in the Scottish Highlands called 'The Bolt Hole', the ruined house in Godric's Hollow (Harry's face drooped a little when he saw the photo supplied) and finally a townhouse in Central London. He also owned several flats around the world.

"Wow, I guess my family has been saving this up for ages. Actually, that was a well, duh! Sort of statement, and now I'm talking to myself. I've got to stop doing that."

He closed the folder and pulled out a book from his bag at random.

As it turned out, it was the notebook Helga had said his father and his friends had written. He flipped open the first page.

An enlightening few minutes later he closed it. His father had evidently spent most of his time at Hogwarts researching just what he could do as a founder's heir. Apparently this included taking or awarding points, control over the portraits, automatic entry into the restricted section and entrance to any of the secret passageways or entrances in the castle. His father had used this knowledge mostly for rather extravagant pranks, and Harry decided to follow in his father's footsteps, at least for a prank on Snap and Malfoy to end all pranks.

The book also had a rather fascinating map of the castle on the inside back page. The book said that this was an updated version of something called the 'Marauders Map' which they'd lost to Filch, the evil cleaner, in their sixth year. It was updated from the original because, apparently, it not only tracked the movements of everyone inside the castle; it also knew the passwords to the Slytherin and Gryffindor common rooms as well as having the ability to warn against a set list of people coming into the near vicinity. This was useful for Harry, as the prank he was forming in his head had a very high probability of discovery.

"Hey Annie, Hermione!" he called across the room. "I need to talk to you about clubs!"

Annie ran over immediately with the ice phoenix book, while Hermione walked more sedately, possibly because of the absolutely enormous stack of books she was carrying. Harry spotted various incomprehensible titles, although one that he could read was called 'Ancient Runes Made Simpler'. "Hermione, you do know that we can't take Ancient Runes, or any other third year elective, until third year? So it might be just a little pointless to get so far ahead in it that you'd be bored in class for the first six months, and possibly beyond then."

Hermione blushed. "Well, it might be interesting before we get into class. I respect your opinion, but I defend to the death my right to ignore it. But anyway, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

"I've had a great idea for a prank, but we might have to attend a club to figure out the logistics of it. So we'd probably better go look at this list of clubs. It might be fun to find a couple we could attend permanently."

So they all went to Ravenclaw common room. When they got to the entrance they were asked "What came first, the chicken or the egg?"

Annie answered "What kind of egg? If it were a duck egg then you'd have to check the rate of evolution to see when they emerged as a species. But if the egg is a chicken egg, then the answer is: Haven't the foggiest. Although a dinosaur egg might have come first."

The voice said "I'm afraid that that is the wrong answer, but I am going to enjoy finding out about this 'evolution'. Perhaps Professor Einstein might know something. You may pass, with your friends."

Once inside, they rushed to the notice board to check the club list. It read:

Latin  
Languages  
Gobstones  
Wizard Chess

Cheerleading  
History of the School  
Wizarding History  
First Year Study Group  
Transfiguration  
Charms  
Potions  
Herbology  
Astronomy  
Ward Studies  
Governmental Studies  
Spellcrafting

Wizard Culture

"Damn! I want to go to practically all of these clubs, except cheerleading. I'm afraid that I am in no way attracted to the prospect of jumping around in a very short skirt, and I'm sure I won't miss out on the intellectual thrill of spelling words with my arms." Hermione smiled.

"Well I'm afraid, my dear little Ravenclaw chum, that that's exactly the club we could attend to held enhance our prospects on this prank. However, we don't need to go to it, as it shouldn't be too hard to get a few transfigurations to help us out. But anyway, what clubs shall we attend as part of our ruthless drive on inefficiency?"

"I think we should go to Languages, Ward Studies, Governmental Studies, Spellcrafting and Wizard Culture. They all sound really good, and apparently the Professor for Wizard Culture is really good. So, if we go to those, it's Wizard Culture on Tuesdays, Ward Studies on Wednesdays, Languages on Fridays and Governmental Studies on Mondays. History of the School sounds good, but we already have two people who know practically everything about Hogwarts at our disposal so that would be slightly redundant. There's also no point in going to any of the subject clubs, or the study group. I don't think we'd need Latin either, as I'm pretty sure there's some sort of potion you can buy to give you knowledge of different languages, I saw them in one of the smaller shop windows in Diagon-I think it was called 'Studious Success'."

"That sounds good, Hermione. Do you have any objections, Harry?" Annie's tone showed that she would not accept anything but a positive answer from him.

"Yeah, that sounds fine. I'll have to look into some of those potions; if we really do have houses all over the world then we might as well learn some of the native languages. Those translation spells we found out about on the train-was it only two days ago?-aren't permanent by any means, and besides they only translated text and helped with comprehension, they didn't actually teach you the language."

Their plan of action agreed upon, they left to go to lunch-they were all much hungrier than they had thought.

As they entered the Great Hall, they heard a low groan from the head table. Dumbledore was reading something and shaking his head slowly.

"What is it?" asked Annie. "Do you think he's reading slash Fanfiction? He looks like a lemons person to me."

Harry attempted to raise an eyebrow at her. He failed to live up to Annie's already burgeoning talent for it.

"You don't know what Fanfiction is? Ah well, I won't tell you about it if you don't already know." This twisted logic was incomprehensible to Harry, but luckily Dumbledore interrupted his thoughts soon enough.

"Students, I have an announcement to make."

**A/N Disclaimer etc.**

**I am such a horribly unreliable writer! I must apologise to all of you!**

**Anyway, I couldn't resist having Dumbledore reading Fanfiction. Yes, it's almost an anachronism, but it could be a Star Trek fic!**


	6. Chapter 6: Getting to know you

**A/N Just so you know, a) I don't own Harry Potter and b) I know that the club dates are totally screwed up**

Chapter 6: Getting to know you

The hall was so silent it was painful.

"We are apparently expecting a visit from several members of the Quibbler's staff, namely Xenophilius Lovegood, Alf Golightly and their children. They will be arriving on October the 30th and will stay until the first of November. Helios, Mr Golightly's son, will be staying in Gryffindor Tower where his sister can watch out for him. Miss Lovegood will most likely be staying in the Ravenclaw Tower."

As they headed to the Hufflepuff dorm room, Harry and Annie had a relatively heated discussion.

"You know, Harry, it would really help if we actually told Morag and Neville about this whole 'heirs of the founders' thing. I know that it is supposed to be a secret, but you cracked and told me after about 30 seconds."

"That may be true Annie, but as you pointed out, I find it hard to keep secrets. How do we know that Neville and Morag can?"

Annie just rolled her eyes and caught up with Neville.

Of course, Annie immediately told Neville, and so the quartet of Harry, Hermione, Annie and Neville spent hours exploring the entirety of the chamber, which Hermione named 'The Chamber of Friendship'. Harry, of course, thought that it was a stupid, girly name, but he accepted it because he couldn't think of anything better.

The days until Hallowe'en practically flew past. They were all doing well in classes, and the homework was devastatingly easy when combined with the library that they alone had access to. Annie had particularly enjoyed the phoenix book, and remarked that she thought it was fascinating that a creature could heal insanity caused by torture. After she had said this, Neville fainted. When he came to, he told them about his parents.

"When I was, um, about twoish, this crazy lady called B-bellatrix Lestrange came to my parent's house when I was at Gran's for the night and she tortured them. We're still not sure why, but they went insane. Not bad insane, but they can't talk to anyone, and Gran keeps making me visit them on my birthday and Christmas and stuff, so I never really have that much fun with them."

Hermione hugged him.

The following Wednesday it was time for Languages, which turned out to be a one lesson course-the students were told to choose one of the language potions provided (similar to the ones Hermione had spotted) and lie down for half an hour to let the potion assimilate. Since you could only choose languages that were currently spoken (not counting Latin as it was only spoken in Vatican City), and the potions the school were given were only for a limited number of languages, the options were:

French

Spanish

Italian

German

Chinese (All Spoken in China)

Japanese (All Alphabets)

Russian

Arabic

Dutch

Hermione decided for the group that each of them would take a different potion as then they could pool their knowledge for research involving different languages. They talked it over, and decided that since Hermione already knew French and quite a bit of Spanish they were off the list. Annie knew quite a lot of German as she had gone there a lot with her mum when she was younger, and Neville admitted to knowing Dutch as his Gran had decided to see if he was magical by forcing him to drink one of the potions. Unfortunately she later discovered that they could be used by anyone.

That left them with the options of Italian, Chinese, Japanese, Russian and Arabic. Unfortunately Morag had decided that she was better friends with Mandy Brocklehurst and so went off on her own with her a lot more than she hung out with them. This left them with the fact that one language was off limits, until Harry pointed out that they could just buy the potions with their money. That would give them the chance to learn magical languages as well.

Harry chose to do Japanese, Annie Russian, Hermione Arabic and Neville Chinese. After they had learnt their respective languages and left the classroom, Hermione ran off to her room to fetch the box of owl order catalogues she had picked up in Diagon Alley. She quickly and expertly ruffled through each one until she had found the catalogue advertising the potions. The group then sat down and looked through the extensive number of languages it was possible to learn. Just a few of the options were Mermish, Gobbledygook, Mindspeech (this cost extra as it was incredibly difficult to make) and Elvish. Eventually Annie intervened and sensible suggested that they each get the languages the others had learned, plus Italian, Gobbledygook and Elvish (as she had heard the House Elves understood it). The total cost each was around 100 galleons, but Harry just encouraged everyone to put up what they could and he'd pay the rest.

"And remember to pay me back someday or I'll steal all of your Christmas presents!"

Thursday was the day for Wizard Culture, which apparently included a quarter of an hour on Mediwizardry for some strange, inexplicable reason.

"Good Afternoon everyone!" said the Professor. "I'm Professor Kerr, head of Wizard Studies for Hogwarts. Not many students take my class though, so I'm fortunate enough to have time to run the club as well as teaching. Anyway, this session will focus on Wizard Money. I know it's pretty hard to understand for some muggleborns and half-bloods, believe me, I know. Basically, the coins are Galleons, Sickles and Knuts, although I once got a quarter Knut for change in Flourish and Blott's. Apparently they're collectibles, which I was quite annoyed to find out because I gave it to the ice cream man as an exchange for some bananas. Anyway, it's 29 Knuts to a Sickle and 17 Sickles to a Galleon. It's not too hard until you only have Knuts and sickles and you have to make a galleon real quick. Let's practice a little, and then the person that can give me change for a galleon the fastest will get a chocolate frog."

As it turned out, Blaise Zabini was insanely good with money, so he won the chocolate frog.

On Friday the trio had a free period in the afternoon, so when Hagrid invited them over for afternoon tea, they gladly accepted. While there, they all almost broke a tooth on some rock cakes and learnt some truths the Hagrid had unwittingly told them. He was lovely, but he couldn't keep a secret to save anyone's life.

On Monday, the group set off for the Spellcrafting class, and were surprised to find that only one other first year was in attendance-Ron Weasley, the boy whose mum had sent a howler to for getting sorted into Slytherin. Harry had thought that this was grossly unfair, so he went over to talk to him.

"Hi," said Harry conversationally. "I'm Harry, Harry Potter, although I guess you'd know that already. Seriously, why must everyone know me? It'd be much more comfortable if I was normal."

"I'm Ron. Yeah, I know who you are, but to be honest I'm a bit sick of everyone making assumptions about me, so I won't put them on you. Can I join your group for the session? I don't think anyone else needs another person."

"Sure. Come meet the others." He walked over to find Annie deep in conversation with the seventh year running the session. Her hair was unusual in that it was bright vermillion.

The group plus Ron spent the session getting to know each other better while attempting to craft a spell that would turn a rat yellow (it was Ron's idea). Annie spent a lot of the time yelling random words in Russian and getting everyone to jump.

They discovered that even though Hermione's parents were dentists, they still let Hermione eat an entire Floreans Vermonster (it was apparently a concept from the States) on her birthday as a treat. Her magic stopped her from spewing, luckily.

Annie's mum was a part time children's entertainer, Neville harboured a burning passion for ballroom dancing and Ron was the only person in his family who had actually talked to one of the gnomes they had to throw (literally) out of the garden. Apparently it enjoyed the throwing out part and spent a lot of time thinking about some very immoral things.

Harry had to think for a little while, but eventually settled on the story about his magic shrinking a terrible jumper until it wouldn't fit him. Everyone got some good laughs, and Ron was smiling all the way through.

"You know Harry; you're not a bad lot over in the Badger House. Well, see you in class. Bye!"

They never did manage that spell.

**A/N Yes, I have now succumbed and put Ron into the story. Please don't hate me! He should be a very different character in this because he'll have had more time to realise that Harry is just Harry than in canon, where he's practically more fanboyish than Ginny is a fangirl (not hard).**

**Also, sorry for the delay. I ended up taking it in a completely different direction to what I had originally planned, which was a Halloween chapter. I took off with that for a month, before getting stuck halfway down the page and going into club details instead.**

EDIT 24/5/12: I'm really, really sorry guys (all 1000 ish of you who read to this point I love you dearly 3333) but I'm abandoning this story. I just don't have the same style anymore and I've struggled to get more than a page into chapter 7 for over a year.

It's been a good ride though, huh?


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